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Forget
"Work-Life Balance"
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How to Really Love
Your Family and Thrive at Work
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By Michelle Nichols
Former BusinessWeek.com
columnist Michelle Nichols with
her son, Mark, who was claimed
by brain cancer in July 1998
It's tough being a working
parent -- but when you're in
the business world, it's even
tougher. After you've met your
sales quota for the day or finished
writing your report, you can
feel torn between starting one
more item on your To Do list
-- and going home to your children.
If you're a parent, learn to
work faster, and then spend
the time you save with your
kids.
I write this because I am the
parent of a child who didn't
live to grow up. In 1998, my
son, Mark, died suddenly when
he was only 8½ years
old. At first, the doctors thought
it was just a case of the flu.
But 11 days later, he died of
brain cancer. Mark was our firstborn.
He was bright, funny, and kind,
but he didn't live to start
the fourth grade.
Work is important -- it provides
for your whole family. But your
children need your time and
attention, too. Trying to balance
all those priorities, while
keeping food on the table, is
no easy feat.
Here are three lessons for
all working parents that I learned
the hard way.
Hug your kids today.
It’s easy to run out the
door in the morning and forget
to stop and hug your kids. Resist.
Take a minute or so, tell each
of your children how much you
love them and give them a squeeze
that will last them all day.
Then you can go off to work
and they can go off to school
or day care. You won’t
be distracted by guilt or worry
and both of you can focus on
what you need to get done that
day, whether it’s designing
some software, writing a new
marketing plan – or learning
your ABC’s.
Carpe kids. Robin
Williams, as Mr. Keating in
the movie Dead Poets Society,
made the phrase “carpe
diem” (Latin for seize
the day) famous. I propose you
carpe kids, which I
translate to: Seize what’s
positive in your kids, even
when things go wrong. Let’s
face it. You have times when
things don’t turn out
the way you’d planned
– the birthday cake gets
dropped, shoe gets left behind
or the spelling test for which
you spent all week helping them
study comes home with an “F.”
Look for what they did right,
even if they just spelled their
name right on the top of their
test.
When All Else Fails,
Laugh. Humor is
a powerful tool. It can heal
hurt feelings over disappointments
and help you reframe situations
to see opportunities where before,
there was only failure. American
comedienne Carol Burnet said,
“Comedy is tragedy plus
time.” Most not-so-good
situations have a humorous aspect
to them that you normally only
see years later. Look for it
sooner. Teach your children
to laugh at their mistakes too.
In the movie City Slickers,
Jack Palance's character, Curly,
encourages the new cowboys to
focus on "the one thing."
Billy Crystal, as Mitch Robbins,
discovers that the one thing
for him is family. While your
spouse, if you have one, is
important, he or she is already
an adult. Your kids -- be they
biological, adopted, stepchildren,
grandchildren or whatever --
are in the frenzied growing-up
process right now. They need
your time and attention today.
So work faster. Then go home
and hug your family.
---
(MUST
BE INCLUDED. DO NOT EDIT without
prior written approval.)
Michelle Nichols was
the Savvy Selling columnist
for BusinessWeek.com
for six years and recorded 45
Savvy Selling podcasts
for BusinessWeek. Prior,
she spent 20 years in professional
sales and entrepreneurship.
Her book, “Hug Your Kids
Today! 5 Key Lessons for Every
Working Parent” will be
available in July 2008. She
can be contacted toll-free at
(877) 352-9684 or (775) 303-8201.
To download a PDF of the Five
Key Lessons for Every Working
Parent or for more information,
go to www.HugYourKidsToday.com.
www.HugYourKidsToday.com.
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